scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
