Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he shaved USA in his pubs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize