If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
