stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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