dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
