sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize