So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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