Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
