Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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