she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
