What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
