She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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