we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
