I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
