haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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