U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
