Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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