I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
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