Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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