Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
COCAINE IS GR8
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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