That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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