are you still at the devil's house?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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