i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Welp...herpes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
