Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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