Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
