nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
