I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
