eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
