so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
