i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Farmville is her only friend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
