Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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