I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Less talking, more tequila
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
