News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
