; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
