Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
