He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
