I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
