Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
