Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
