Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
