We're like a lot better than the average bears
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
