I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
