My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
