I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she told me i tasted like america
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
