he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
