hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't notice because vodka
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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