I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
