My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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