Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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