I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
