remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize