the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
