Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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