Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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