Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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(720): View more from Colorado

she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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(503): View more from Oregon

Mattress luging...It's a long story.

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(619): View more from California

Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..

(1-330): View more from Ohio

that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.

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(419): View more from Ohio

How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

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(775): View more from Nevada

The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time

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