so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
