they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
